And a blog post in a pear tree!

Alright, my friends... Christmas cards are hitting the post office in the morning. A full 4 days before Christmas. If I'm not good at procrastinating, then what am I good at? This year I've included a little line on them, telling everyone to check out our blog for the yearly update. So I suppose I should write a yearly update, lest I leave you all checking my blog and only finding the depressing post about how hard it is to be a stay-at-home mom... that I wrote 6 months ago. So here we are! Time to wrap up 2011! Here's the scoop, starting with...

Gracee Girl! It has been both fun and heart-breaking to watch Gracee grow up this year. After being slightly worried about her major motor skills since she was only a few months old, I finally broke down and enrolled her in Early Intervention for physical therapy. Gracee is so in love with her physical therapist, Shawna, who has been stopping by the house every couple weeks to work with her. Shawna brings fun toys and cheers her on for nearly every move she makes. What's not to love? This makes life fun for the rest of us, as Gracee expects applause and cheers every time she stands up, takes a few steps, puts a block away, says a word... you get the idea. We hear a lot of "Yay!!" and clapping at our house. It's very exciting. She's adorable in it's purest form, but also has quite the attitude. Don't cross this girl or she will lash out at you with her vicious baby nails and stare you down. I'm tellin' ya, her scowl would be poisonous if it wasn't so stinkin' cute. Gracee finally started walking the week of Thanksgiving. We're all very proud.

Nathaniel has had a productive year. Over the summer, after many failed attempts, we finally got this little stinker potty-trained. The deal maker? Superhero underpants. Who knew? I should have thought of that a year ago. Oh, well. I decided to put his diaper money to good use and enroll him in preschool. Best money ever spent. He loves school and loves his teacher "Mister Shelf" (translation: Miss Michelle. Took me about 2 weeks to figure out who he was talking about. I kept thinking Michelle must have named a special shelf in the room...). Nathaniel keeps us in stitches daily with all his crazy phrases and his silly sense of humor. He also nearly sends me into fits of hysteria every day with his persistant whining to get whatever he wants. Right when I'm ready to pack up a little knapsack for him and drop him off in the woods somewhere, he always comes around with big squeezes and lots of "I love you, Mommy", and just like that, he's forgiven.

Oh, Mathew... What can I say about this kid? I hardly know he's around. This boy can take care of himself! Half the time, he makes his own breakfast, his own lunch, and if he doesn't like what I made for dinner (85% of the time), he's got it covered! He will disappear for hours, engrossed in his legos most of the time, and be completely content. We've been worried to the point of asking his teacher if he interacts with other kids at school well, and were shocked to learn that she frequently has to ask him to stop talking with his friends during class. Never thought I'd be happy to hear a teacher tell me that. I shouldn't have been too surprised, because when he does come around, he will talk my ear off about the craziest things. Almost like he stores up a certain amount of conversation topics in his head until his brain becomes so full, it all just spews out in pure randomness. Mathew's year hasn't held a whole lot of exciting changes, but he doesn't need lots of change and attention to be happy... and I love him for it!

If you were to ask McKenna what the highlight of her year was, she would tell you, hands down "Seeing Taylor Swift in concert!" McKenna can obsess about things like nobody's business! I've truly never seen anything like it. Over the last year or 2, her biggest obsession has been Taylor Swift. So when my brother, Lynn, and his wife, Vicki, suggested buying concert tickets for McKenna and Megan (McKenna's favorite cousin, and fellow obsessed Taylor Swift fan), I couldn't refuse. Even when the cost of the tickets nearly sent me into cardiac arrest. The concert fell only a couple short weeks after McKenna turned 10 and was the perfect excuse for a really, really cool birthday present. The tickets were a fortune, but the expressions on those girls' faces, and their over-the-top excitement was priceless. Worth every penny. Back at home, McKenna is darn near perfect. She's doing great in school, has evolved into an amazing babysitter, is the truest of peacemakers, volunteers to say family prayer every night, and still thinks Brandon and I are superheroes. She's fantastic, and I honestly don't know what I'd do without her.

Brandon is still a nurse at Salt Lake Regional Medical Center, and he works hard. Honestly, this guy works his guts out. I bring this up because other people have also started to notice. Brandon received a big promotion at work this year (not to mention a decent pay raise), and I got to listen to at least a dozen people gush about how wonderful he is at his work Christmas party a couple weeks ago. I love seeing other people acknowledge what I see all the time at home. He works long hours, then comes home and helps me out with all things domestic (since I was somehow born without all these domestic qualities every other woman I know seems to possess). When he's too tired to face life responsibly, he loves to wind down with his amazingly talented basketball or football teams on the PlayStation. Can you believe his teams are nearly always undefeated?? He was also called to be an Elders Quorum teacher for our church, and is starting to regret all those times he didn't contribute to the lessons now that he's the one up front, listening to crickets chirp after he asks a question... or so he says. I have no doubts he's just as great a teacher at church as he is at home. I've said this before, but Brandon is seriously the glue that holds this family together. I would go completely insane without his support, his help, and his encouragement.



Me? I've learned a lot this year. I've learned that I'm capable of waking up at 4:45 in the morning to run 4 miles on a regular basis. I've learned I can do things I never thought I'd could do when I have the right support. I've learned how important friends and family can be in helping you overcome your insecurities, your fears, your failures, your shame, and every other pain imaginable. I've learned that if you train for a half marathon on asphalt, you shouldn't run a half marathon on a rocky dirt trail, (I still don't think my knees have fully forgiven me). I've learned that even if I run 11 miles in one day, I won't lose an ounce unless I stop shoveling down large servings of deep-fried foods and multiple glasses of Coke. I've learned that working with 12-14 year-old girls in the Young Women's program can awaken a whole new kind of affection inside of me. I've learned the true tenderness that comes from the love of a family. I've learned so many things, I don't even know when to stop rambling on about it! It's been a wonderful, emotional, motivating, spiritual, exhausting, heart-breaking, strengthening year for me. One of the only years in recent memory that I can honestly say did not pass quickly. I'm ready for 2012, but I'm grateful for everything I'm taking from 2011.

I don't like to get too spiritual. I'm ashamed to admit that it's not really who I am and it makes me uncomfortable to lay my heart out for others to see. But, this year I feel exceptionally grateful to my Father in Heaven, and to my Savior, Jesus Christ. I am blessed with too many things to even begin counting. It overwhelms me to even try. But more than that, I am blessed with knowing that I am loved for all my shortcomings, my mistakes, and my countless weaknesses. I hope you're able to feel that same unconditional love, and that you also feel how it can pick you up when you don't have the strength to continue on your own. Of all the things I've learned this year, it's this that helps me make it through the days I don't want to face.

Merry Christmas to you all, and the very best wishes for an amazing New Year!

With love,
Brandon, Sheri, McKenna, Mathew, Nathaniel, and Gracee Staten

The Dark Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Mom

Being a stay-at-home mom is hard. Seriously. I honestly don't know how I, or anyone else, survives it day after day after day. I would go into all the responsibilities that we face every day, but the internet is already saturated with emails about how much a mother would make if she was paid an honest wage for all the different careers she dabbles in on a day to day basis. And annoying as these emails get after awhile, they are the full truth. Just once, I'd like to meet one of those nasty people who assumes stay-at-home moms do nothing but sit on their large backsides and eat ice cream by the quart while watching soap operas, and I'd like to introduce them to my fist. (I note that "introducing my fist" is much more comical than threatening... but you get my point).

I bring all this up, only because I've been giving a lot of thought to my life lately. I'm going to expose my insecurities here for a minute and admit that I have been feeling drained, unappreciated, and exhausted in every way a person can be. It's the truth. Why is it so blasted hard to climb this barbed ladder toward perfection?

If one were to put a hidden camera in my house for a day, I'll tell you right now what you would see. Between all the meal making, diaper changing, attention giving, computer typing (I work from home, doing data entry), cleaning, laundry folding, and all the other responsibilities - you would see a frumpy woman in sweats and no makeup, pacing the house and running an inner monologue that goes something like this:

I'm exhausted. I think I'll lay Gracee down and take a nap. No, I can't, I still have 4 hours of work left to do. No, before I start working, I have to get the laundry started. But wait, in order to start the laundry, I have to fold all those clean clothes piled up on the bedroom floor. That will take forever. I wonder if Mathew can wear those same jeans he's been wearing for the past week one more time without anyone noticing how filthy they are. Ok, dishes! I have to do dishes. Oh my goodness! It's 10:30 and I still haven't gotten the kids any breakfast! No wonder they're all crying. Ok breakfast... dangit! I don't have anything to make. I need to go grocery shopping. Ahhhh, I can't go grocery shopping until Thursday when we get paid again. The kids will be fine with cereal again. Oh, but we don't have any clean bowls or spoons until I do dishes. And the table is covered with last night's dinner. I have to clean that off first. Ooo... maybe I'll eat the last brownie for breakfast. If I sneak it into the bathroom and lock the door, I won't have to share it with the kids. But would it be worth the Weight Watcher's points? Eh, screw it. I don't care about Weight Watchers today. Wait, dinner! What on earth am I going to make for dinner? Brandon will never forgive me if I tell him we need to do fast food again. Uh, I'll worry about it later. Something's bound to magically appear in the fridge and/or pantry by 5:00 tonight. Alright, seriously, I have to get some work done or I'll be up until midnight keying and I have to get up at 4:45 to go running with the girls. Argggh! If Nathaniel and Mathew fight one more time, I'm going to lose it completely! Umm... what's that smell? Are you kidding me? Gracee needs to be changed again? How can a body that small hold so much poop?! That's it diaper change, breakfast (we'll just pull out the paper bowls and eat at the counter), and then I'm taking a nap. I'm exhausted.

Seriously, I could run this monologue for pages and pages, but I'm sure I've lost the interest of more than half of you as it is. What I didn't include in the above paragraph, is how many times I berate myself for being so whiny when there are millions of people in this world who don't have enough food to worry about being overweight, or enough house or clothes to worry about keeping them clean, or enough money to worry about budgeting. Then I feel even worse because I've just added "being a despicable, ungrateful human being" to the list of my faults.

On my darkest days, I have this morbid fantasy that includes me, while driving alone, being involved in a horrific car crash that lands me in the hospital for a full month. During this full month, I can do nothing but lay in the hospital bed while my every want and need is cared for by trained professionals. I realize this confession may cause a few concerned emails and phone calls from my family and friends, imploring me to seek counseling and/or medication... but let me finish. This dark fantasy of mine also includes the fact that the man caused the accident is a filthy rich billionaire who'd had just a little too much to drink. In his guilt-ridden state of grief and despair, he offers to not only pay all my hospital bills, but to make certain my family and I never financially want for anything for the rest of our lives. Also, when I come out of surgery after the accident, the doctor approaches me and quietly explains that he's very sorry, but in order to save my life, they were forced to do a full tummy-tuck, some liposuction, and a breast lift. The best part of this fantasy, is that I leave the hospital one month later, completely recovered, rejuvenated, and ready to face life head on with my bank account bursting with money that I can spend on my new, size 4 wardrobe. Is this all too much to ask?

So since I've been rambling on about my poor pitiful life for far too long, I should probably get to the point where I reveal how all of this is worth it. How life, in the scheme of things, is truly splendid and blissful. I should share with you the big lesson I've learned from all this dwelling on my shortcomings. But you know what? I don't have a big lesson to share. I'm still learning and still trying to find my balance every day. (You'd think after nearly 10 years of this, I'd have it figured out by now). However, so I don't appear to be incredibly bitter and ungrateful, I will acknowledge that there are numerous days that I do feel blissfully happy. I feel proud of my healthy body, even with all it's imperfections. I marvel at my fortune in having such a patient husband and such sweet children. I smile contentedly at the small corner of my house that I was able to clean spotless... I know it's not all doom and gloom all the time. And I guess that's what matters. As it has been said, what fun is a roller coaster without all the ups and downs?

Now, I'd better get off this dang blog (which I've been neglecting for months) and get back to life. I need to work, and do laundry, and help Brandon clean the basement, and buy a gift for the birthday party Mathew is going to today, and buy groceries for that salad I'm supposed to bring to dinner tonight, and figure out what to do for Father's day, and....

My Blogging Hiatus - What you missed

I know I said you didn't miss much during my 5 months of zero blog posts, and I know I said I wasn't going to fill you in; but after receiving dozens of emails begging me to update anyway, I finally decided to relent and just do it. Ok fine, I really didn't receive any emails asking me to update. I'm doing this all out of the goodness of my heart. And because I can't, for the life of me, think of anything else to blog about. So here you are. August - December 2010. Here's what you missed...

AUGUST

2010 was the year of the wedding! Between Brandon and I, we had only 3 siblings who had yet to be married. All 3 said their "I do's" in 2010. What fun, eh? Aleisha was the last of the three and we all spent the latter part of August celebrating her wedded bliss to Rory. On the day of the actual wedding, I was (once again) fantastic at ignoring the happy couple completely and managed only to get a picture of my own little family. Who says I don't have my priorities straight??



The reception was held the day after the wedding, and all sarcasm aside, it really was beautiful. Dave and Susan (with lots of help from others) turned their incredible backyard into a dream setting for a reception. It was truly breathtaking. In spite of a bit of rain (and frantic moving of reception food and decor in and out of the house), the night was fantastic. Pictures? I've got plenty from the reception. Here's a few of my favorites...





And, you won't believe it, but this time, I really did take a picture of the bride and groom. See??



And for my last picture of the wedding events, I offer you this... When the heavens decide to rain down upon your wedding/reception day, the least they can do is offer up a beautiful rainbow for an apology.



Moving on...

SEPTEMBER

The month of September brings us McKenna's 9th birthday. Due to McKenna and her friend Savannah having the same birthday, it's always a party. A big thanks to Amanda for coming up with the idea of how to celebrate this one. The day began with taking lunch to the girls at school, like always.



Followed up by a girls night that rewarded Amanda and I just as much as the birthday girls. That beats hosting a late-over for 8 screaming girls any day of the week!



The four of us enjoyed pedicures, dinner, mall shopping, and a movie (with lots of popcorn and cherry coke). Seriously... this is how to celebrate! McKenna can have a birthday any day of the week! Well, provided I can have another few months to save up plenty of cash for the occasion. The best way to wrap the whole day up, is by copy & pasting the facebook status I put up at the end of that day:

I know this is so overused, but I have to do it - taking lunch to McKenna at school $10, birthday treats for her class $10, pedicures $40, shopping at the mall $20, dinner out $12, movie tickets $14, movie snacks $10, frostys $2, calories consumed... let's skip this one, tucking her in and having her say, "Mom, thanks for the most awesome birthday ever"... Yep, you know it's coming... PRICELESS.

Next up...

OCTOBER

October is, by far, my favorite month of the year. The weather is usually perfect and there's just something extra fun about fall festivities. While I didn't get out nearly as much as I would have liked to, we did manage our annual trip to Gardner Village to enjoy the witches (along with every other stay-at-home mom and her 4 children within a 50 mile radius... or so it seemed).





We also paid way too much money to take a trip up the Haunted Canyon on the Heber Valley Railroad. Too much money... but lots of fun (and mostly worth it) all the same. It was dark, and my camera is only one step up from the cheap disposable kind you buy at gas stations. My apologies, these very low quality pictures are all we captured. Still, memories are memories, so up on the blog they go!



In the 1st picture, the flash is (obviously) unbearably bright. In the 2nd picture, the flash is almost non-existent because I'm... uh... covering it with my thumb. Needless to say, I've never won any awards for photography.

This brings us to the main event... Halloween Day! Or technically, the day before Halloween Day-Day! Since Halloween fell on a Sunday this year, we Utahns like to celebrate on Saturday instead. We're cool like that. We braved the rain in pursuit of candy at both the neighborhood Trunk-or-Treat, and your typical door-to-door "Trick-or-Treat!" We got lots of candy. That's all I'm going to say about that. Here's pictures!

May I present (in no particular order)...

Indiana Mathew! *insert Indiana Jones theme song*



Nathaniel Mouse! (and Dad) Em-eye-see-kay-ee-why-em-o-you-es-ee!



McKenna the Pirate...ess! (and Dad) *insert Pirates of the Caribbean theme song*



And finally, Gracee the baby chick! (and Dad) *insert... uh... a chick chirping... I guess...?*



For the true night of Halloween, we spent the evening at Grandpa Dave and Grandma Susan's for their traditional Halloween party, which always includes delicious soups, trick-or-treating down the hallway (at all the best and most prestigious bedrooms in the house), and "fishing" for prizes. We all love it. More pictures? Why, yes!





And that, my friends, concludes October. Onto...

NOVEMBER

In November, McKenna's grade put on a Veteran's Day program that made me cry...



It snowed... A LOT...



And my brother, Lynn, and his unusually productive wife, Vicki, hosted a fun and very delicious Thanksgiving Dinner. (Sorry, no pics. Or by this point, maybe I should say, "No pics... you're welcome).

And last but not least...

DECEMBER

Ah, Christmas. It would be such a wonderful time of year if I didn't have to work until 3:00 in the morning (yes, literally) pretty much every night. And wake up to feed a baby at 5:00 am. And get up to get kids off to school at 7:30 am. Yuck. I don't remember much, but judging by the pictures I took, here's what we did!

We saw Santa...



McKenna created her own Santa costume and provided us with an excellent blackmail picture for the future. (yes, the sheet of lined paper hanging from her chin is indeed supposed to be a beard)



We decorated the tree...



On a side note, I should mention that we decided to buy, for the first time, a real, live Christmas tree this year. The result? Branches that wouldn't support our ornaments, pine needles EVERYWHERE, and worst of all... nearly a dozen baby spiders hatching while we hung ornaments. Needless to say, it was a fun idea in theory, but I highly doubt we will ever do it again. If I ever start thinking about it again, maybe several years down the road, someone please be sure to remind me about the spiders.

We met up with fun friends and saw lights at Temple Square...



Nathaniel turned THREE...



And, dressed in their Christmas jammie best, the kiddos received a very generous visit from Santa...
(My apologies for the hazy pictures. I must've had fingerprints all over the camera lense, courtesy of one - or more - of my 4, grubby fingered children)



The stockings were hung from the partition wall with care...



(Stockings provided by the amazing talent of my fabulous Mother)

Well, there you have it! Five months of posts in one! I have been working on this dang post for nearly 3 hours! (You can find the point I started becoming restless with it by noting the lack of commentary through November and December). If you made it through all that... cookies to you! I really hope you didn't have anything better to do with the last 20 or so minutes of your life. In the future, I vow to try my best to be better about frequent, normal size posts. Rather than twice yearly mega posts. Until then... BYE!

And.... We're Back!

Well, hello! Apparently I have a blog, and even more surprising is that there are a few people who still read it. Who knew? And here I thought the entire blogging world would simply crumble and fall as soon as I started losing interest. I guess society really doesn't adjust it's courses to meet my fancies. Ah, well. It's a new year, and what better time to aim for improvement than the month of January? So here I am, for better or worse.

I'm afraid this post will be picture-less (and a bit pointless). I'm sure I have a few photos stashed away in my camera from Christmas. But quite honestly, I was too sleep-deprived on Christmas to remember if I took any pictures. And I'm too lazy right now to go find it and see if I did. Because really... what if there are some cute pictures? Then I have to download them, add them to this here blog, write clever little captions... Honestly, it's just way too much work. I assure you, we had a delightful Holiday season (at least, I think we did... Did I mention I was sleep-deprived?). There's really no need to bore you all with specifics. We'll sum it up with: Brandon worked too many hours and went to bed before me most nights (this is unheard of any other time of the year). I worked too many late nights and can't recall much of December, though I'm sure I ate too much because I'm several pounds heavier than I was a couple months ago. The kids were giddy and excited and surprisingly content and well-behaved. As a family, we spent way too much money, but sure had a lot of fun doing it.

Not much has happened in my 6-month blogging hiatus. Or at least not much that I feel like talking about at 10:30 at night. I'm mainly here to say I'm still here, and to make vague and most likely empty promises that I'm going to try to post more often. Who knows, if I get crazy ambitious, I might even have a picture or two to show off next time. Until then, Happy New Year to you all! Best wishes for meeting all the goals you made last year and weren't able to reach! (Please tell me I'm not the only one who's just recycling resolutions from years past...) It's never too late! This is the year of the fresh start - I can just feel it!

Summer Vacation (or the lack thereof)

It seems it hasn't even been a month since the kids got out of school... Oh, wait... probably because it really hasn't been a month. What kind of summer vacation is only 3 weeks long?? The summer vacation of a kid in year round school, I guess. In any case, I thought I'd quickly document what little we did manage to do during this little window of summer freedom.

First up... D'Ann gets married!!
My sister and Antone decided it was high time they made things official - and they did it in style! Party style, that is. What a fantastic way to do a wedding. D'Ann and Antone said their "I do's" in the shade of a clump of trees at a family park. It was a beautiful ceremony that literally brought tears to my eyes (and Gracee's eyes. She chose this, of all moments, to have her very first inconsolable crying spell... of course). After being pronounced husband & wife by a military chaplain who has performed many a wedding in our family, D & Antone were showered with a million cliche bubbles - and then it was barbecue time! What a spread we had! I'm starting to sound like a broken record by saying this, but my family seriously rocks the house when it comes to party/food planning. My Mom, my aunts, and my super-woman-of-a-sister-in-law, Vicki, had an incredibly impressive mass of food for the countless family and friends who came out to celebrate.

My Dad and my brother, Lynn, manned the barbecues, dishing out hundreds of hot dogs and tiny hamburgers (which were washed down with homemade root beer). It was all delicious, and I enjoyed the excess food in comfort while wearing shorts and a t-shirt. That's my kind of wedding! Thanks to those of you who came out. It was so fun to see so many family and friends. I told D'Ann she needs to get married every year... but to the same guy, of course. You could see how that statement might be taken the wrong way.

For the two weeks after D'Ann's wedding, I'm afraid we did a whole lot of nothing at all. You see, in the summer, it's hot. It just is. And I'm not a huge fan of being outside in the heat. I'm just not. I wish I could say we went swimming to cool down, but I'm not squeezing this stretched out, postpartum body into a swimsuit this summer. Sorry. I think I'll stick to cooling down, fully-clothed, in the cool breeze of my central air. We did manage one exciting camping trip... in the backyard. And I think we even went to a movie! And we played some intensely competitive games of Mario Kart. And then we... crap... I got nothing.

The weekend before school started back up (Pioneer Day, to be exact) we did venture out of the nicely air-conditioned house, and made our way up Millcreek Canyon for a fun little cookout and overall day of getting dirty. Mmm... tinfoil dinners and s'mores. (I think it's a little disturbing how much my enjoyment of life revolves around food right now. No wonder I haven't been losing any of this baby weight!)

Pictures of my adorably dirty children and their cousins...





It's amazing to me the level of filthy these kids can reach in such a short amount of time. After we were all stuffed to the point of illness, and our limit of patience with our wild children was met; we went home for showers before meeting back up at Lynn & Vicki's for a spectacular fireworks show. Well, as spectacular as any show can be when the fireworks were purchased at a local grocery store.

The following Monday, it was back to school. McKenna started 3rd grade...



And on Tuesday, Mathew started 1st grade...



McKenna thinks her new teacher is the nicest, funniest teacher around. She also thinks 3rd grade is super easy so far. Oh, and she has officially chosen her 3rd grade crush... I'm keeping my lips sealed, now that's she's old enough to get embarrassed about it.
Mathew merely nodded his head when I asked if he liked his teacher (he's not my most vocal child). He did give me an earful about how much he likes eating lunch at school though. Way cooler than eating at home, apparently.

Even though I got a little pang of sadness in my heart watching them take off on their bikes for school, I have to admit that it is quite nice spending the day at home with just Nater and Gracee. Especially at nap time, when I get a full 2 hours of uninterrupted "me" time (which usually includes a nap of my own).

So, that's pretty much our summer for ya! Better luck next year, right?

A Day of Blessings

What a wonderful day I had yesterday! Seriously, it is a day I will bookmark and place on my shelf of great memories. Despite all the stress I had the day before, while preparing food and my house for Gracee's blessing, I woke up in the morning feeling excited, yet peaceful. As I dressed Gracee in her beautiful blessing dress (made by my talented mother), I was overwhelmed by how much I love my little angel. And how could I not? Just look at her!





(These pictures are cute enough to forgive my blatant bragging... right?)

Not only were we able to bless our sweet Gracee, but we also surprised everyone by finally blessing our charming Nathaniel.



(I love that he loves his baby sister, even when she steals his mommy's attention)

What, you ask? Why are we just now blessing Nathaniel?? Well, quite honestly... it's none of your business!
Ok, ok... I'll quit being snotty and acknowledge that inquiring minds want to know. Nathaniel was born within weeks of Brandon finishing up his months of chemotherapy treatments**. He was sick, depressed, and just not in a good place at the time. We always swore we'd bless him later. And then later turned into later and later and later, until we almost forgot about it. When it came time to bless Gracee, we saw a wonderful opportunity to make that moment even more special. And it was. I can't tell you how amazing it was to hear Brandon bless Nathaniel that he will use his "enthusiasm to serve the Lord." If you know our Nater at all, enthusiasm is the perfect word to use in reference to him. There's something good to be said about blessing your child after you already know what kind of personality they have!

More pictures...





This is what I felt like doing all day. Gracee was tuckered out. It's exhausting being held by so many people who love you!



Thanks to all of you who showed up to support us (and eat our food... you knew there had to be something in it for you!) Speaking of food, thanks to my mom and my sister-in-law, Vicki. I swear to you, I did almost nothing but clean my house and show up. My family put together everything: the food, the seating, the cleanup... And Brandon wonders why I'm so against the idea of moving out of state. Apparently I still need my family to take care of me, like the child that I am. I'm just trying to stay young at heart.

After the last of our friends and family left, we made our way to my brother's church to see him set apart as a member of the High Council. What an amazing experience that was. At the risk of sounding sappy to the point of eye-rolling, I have to say that I rarely feel that much love and Spirit in such an intimate setting. I'm so proud of my brother and his family. They are an amazing example of what mankind should be.

To wrap up this fantastic day, Lynn and Vicki had us all over to their house for a few family pictures and a lot of delicious food. Haven't I built myself a nice little family?



The weather was perfect and so was the company. I went to bed that night content and happy (and 3 pounds heavier. I think I overdid it on the whip cream balls.) My cup overfloweth.

**I guess there's some back story some of you don't know. I don't mind sharing the story in the least (especially since it has a happy ending). In 2007, Brandon was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma (only weeks after we discovered I was pregnant - talk about an eventful year!) He underwent 4 months of chemotherapy and that did the trick! Thankfully he is in full remission and the doctors don't anticipate it ever coming back. We were very fortunate. It was a hard time, but we're just so grateful that he's healthy and still with us! Thanks to everyone for your kind words.

Getting back to good

I love my new baby girl... I really, really do. What I don't love is the anxious, weepy, grumpy girl I become after having a new baby. Call it hormones, call it exhaustion, call it excess fat and flabby skin... I just know that it takes me weeks and weeks (sometimes months and months) to start feeling like myself again. We've all been trying to find our own ways to adjust to the new little person in our lives. For me, the past 4 weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions - the most common being the irresistible urge to throttle my 2-year-old. I fear I brought on his ultra neediness myself, through self-manifesting statements like, "I'm not looking forward to Nathaniel's reaction to me having this new baby" and "Nathaniel is going to have a hard time sharing his mommy". You know, it's not always a good thing to be right. But alas, how can I stay mad at a little boy who looks like this?



I'm afraid I'm a bit of a softy when it comes to this little monster, and he's always forgiven his tantrums and antics before I'm ever able to give into any violent urges.

As expected, McKenna is absolutely loving having a little sister to dote on. She holds her, sings to her, tells her stories, and is on a constant mission to be the first one to make Gracee smile. 8 1/2 years isn't too big a gap for these two to be future best buddies, is it?

I can't say Mathew has been incredibly involved in the whole Gracee scene. If it wasn't for his occasional "Hi Gracee!" I would wonder if he's even noticed that we added a new member to our little family. The only change he's really made is that he's now prone to carrying around one of his many stuffed animals, wrapped up in a small blanket. If you show the slightest interest in his "baby", he'll talk your ear off about his baby's sleeping, eating, and playing habits. Just a fair warning.

Brandon is a trooper. He continues to be patient and supportive no matter how many times he has to wonder in exasperation why I'm crying again. I'm still managing very little house work. Not because I'm still healing, but more because I'm exhausted and would rather escape real life by sleeping, reading a book, or watching Entertainment Television (hey, we all have our guilty pleasures). Brandon doesn't even roll his eyes (that I know of) when he comes home to a messy house and another non-existent meal. I have a feeling I'm pushing it though and should probably start stepping up my game a little. Almost every night, you'll find him and Gracee in this position. Once the older kids are in bed, Brandon has dibs on his baby girl.

My Gracee girl is a sweet little baby. She does a lot of this...



and this...




and this...



and very little of this...


(Don't you just love the outfit?? Courtesy of my bestie, Katie)

Seriously, this girl can SLEEP (except between the hours of 3:00 am - 5:30 am... the ONLY time of day or night that she feels like fussing... of course). I'm very in love with my little baby doll and can't wait for her to give me a smile or some sort of acknowledgement that she just might love me too.

The last 4 weeks have flown by in a tornado of laughter, yelling, and tears. I'm still feeling a little psychotic, but I think I'm starting to have more good days than bad. I'm slowly making my way back to good, and I'm sure my family will be ready and beyond thrilled to welcome back their mostly normal wife/mother with open arms.